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Friday, December 3, 2010

Reconnect With Your Partner

Friday, December 3, 2010
Here is the last post in my series on reconnecting with your family this Yule season.

As parents we are tasked with several important jobs. First we work to keep a clean and ordered house. One that our kids can feel safe and continue to be healthy in. Second many of us work at a job, to bring home money to pay the expenses of running a household. We are also charged with the task of raising our children and correcting them when they misbehave. On top of all of this we are tasked with keeping a strong and straight face and keeping the stress and problems of raising a family from our children. What I mean by this is that we may, at times, have problems paying the bills or paying for the miscellaneous expenses that arise, and while we do not need to lie to our kids, they do not need to feel or be exposed to those stresses at a young age.

These things, as we all know, can be tedious at best and world-ending at worst. If we just focus on all of this and our family then we face a sundry of assorted stress-related disorders. In fact constant exposure to stress is one of the leading causes of disease in our modern and western world. We need to make and take the time for ourselves and for our partner(s). A chance to decompress and unwind. Just remember to do this without guilt. Tell yourself that "you are a worthy individual, deserving of good things and the chance to spend time on yourself." Because isn't that a true statement?

Now I know that this is and will not be an easy thing to do, especially for new parents or parents of very small children, and even more difficult for the single parents among us. But it is something that we should work very hard towards doing and take the opportunity when we have the chance. Whether we take thirty minutes between work and picking up the kids at the daycare/school; Or we wait until the kids go to bed and turn down the lights and have a small candle-lit late-night-snack with our partner or ourselves., any time we spend will be time well-spent.

Remember though that this is not about just finding time for the adults together, it is also about finding personal, quiet and alone time. Because with the duties of being a parent we also have the responsibilities of being a husband, wife or partner as well. And we all know that sometimes our patience can be stretched in those situations, often times to or near our limit.

No one that I have ever met and talked to has a perfect relationship with their partner(s). We all face trials and tribulations and it is important that we take to "find ourselves". If we do not truly know who we are then how do we know how to respond in a relationship and as a parent?

So as we go forward from today, remember that you deserve time with your partner(s) and deserve time to yourself. Don't let the daily minutiae bog you down with the specifics. What can you cut and still provide the happy and content family life that we are seeking? Remember that family should be our first priority. This being said how can we give it our full and best attention if we are stressed out and nearing the end of our patience?

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