DefinitionsTo start I need to define the role of family, as I see it. Family is a network and support structure comprised of loving people. The job of these people is to bolster each other and to be a wall of confidence to the outside world. In days long gone by, the family structure was necesarry to protect one from the wild animals in the dark, just beyond the edge of the fire. Today family is there to provide a safe haven, an oasis of peace from the stress of the world, just beyond the edge of the walls of your home.
But for this system to work there must be confidence and our world seems to excel in breaking the confidence of people in it. So I wanted to share some tips on, first, restoring confidence in our selves and then in passing on that confidence to our children.
Confidence Comes from Defeating FearI understand first hand the fear that can come with being a parent. Do I have enough of what it takes to be a parent? Much less a good one? What if I can't pay the bills and the kids can't eat, then what? I'm sure we all have some version of these questions in our lives. That chorus of doubts that gnaws away in the dark, just before bed. For us to be confident we must banish this fear from us.
In the novel Dune, by Frank Herbert there is a small poem, called the Litany of Fear.
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
Now while it is fiction this poem makes a lot of sense. We as humans, and more so as Pagans, have the power to change our world. Whether you call it magick or the power of positive thinking or just prayer we all believe that we can change our world. This ability to make change allows us to conquer our fear and turn it into confidence. It allows us to choose how we act, instead of just reacting to events and circumstances.
So what happened to us? When did we give up that power? Take some time this week to examine your fears and doubts, let them pass through you. Don't identify with them, just observe them. Look for the solutions that have been avoiding you. In my case I found that my working an extra day or cutting back on expenses was all that was necessary to have enough money for bills. But in your case it may involve more action, from magick to finding a new job or any combination of things.
Children will Learn from YouNow as to passing this onto your children. If we show confidence and security in our lives and they see we act instead of choosing not to react then they will learn this. All we can do is to add to this sense of confidence, by encouraging them in their activities. This is very different then this egotistical version of self-esteem that they teach children these days. Some of us our good at something while others have no skill in that area at all. Confidence comes from knowing your strengths and weaknesses and acting without fear. It is this confidence that allows us to try and try again when we fail. So encourage this in your children.
For older children in high school they are dealing with very adult things, while at the same time they are being treated like children still.; so they may benefit from the section in this article for the adults. Talk to them as adults and see what fear they are facing. You may be surprised to hear what they say.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Or any stories you may want to share. Please come on over to the blog and comment below.
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