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Friday, November 11, 2011

Families Support and Care for Each Other

Friday, November 11, 2011
I have seen many families that are content with just going through life not talking about the things that bother them. They ask their kids how their day went and their answer is? "Fine" or "OK". The parents never pursue it further, either not wanting to pry or just not taking the initiative to become active and engaged parents. Which is not an easy thing to do, by the way.

In these same families and in others the adults do not talk to each other either. They have problems with each other and with other things but for some reason fail to vocalize this. If they do vocalize it is usually in an argument that has been brewing for months. This is probably one of the biggest reasons for divorce in the West, lack of communication.

Now on the other hand, imagine a family that actively addresses these issues and makes time for individuals to come together and air their differences, with the promise that all parties involved will work together to reach common ground. A family where there are none or only seldom an argument.

This is what I mean when I say to become a family that supports and cares for each other. Your kids have stress and problems with school, whether it is peer pressure, school work, body changes or just bullies.

They need someone to talk to, but are often times afraid of coming home and saying something to the parents because they don't want to get into trouble. Now do not think I am saying that your kids should escape punishment simply because they are being honest and open. What I am saying is that they should be free to say whatever (as long as it is respectful) without to much fear of recrimination.

This same thing should go for the adults as well. Just think, when was the last time that you and your partner sat down and aired your differences and/or talked about each other's and the family's long term goals?

If you are going to build a strong family then everyone in leadership needs to be on the same page, heading in the same direction, right?

But this goes beyond just listening. How many times do you tell your partner or your kids that you love them? We say it so many times in a day that my brother, at the house one day, felt like he had to say something about it. He was just amazed at the number of times that we say it on an hourly or daily basis.

On the other side of this, how much is your house filled with sharp and harsh words? Do you find yourself snapping at your kids or at your spouse? Maybe you are just cold and distant? The outside worlds requires us to be distant and professional and it is easy to carry this demeanor home with us. But we do not need to worry about punishment for fraternizing with our family, do we?

So as we all go forward from today, let's all try to show a little more love and openness in our families. Listen to their problems and help them if they need it or want it. If not then just be an ear and a shoulder. And remember to tell your kids and your partner that you love them and that they are important to you.

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